miss stina

Do I want to be perfect?
The living, breathing definition of perfect, in all aspects that I consider important, in all aspects that I aspire to be? Cultured, confident and wise? And happy?
Do I want to fucking live in some cutesy little city apartment with pot plants hanging off the balcony?
Do I want to work at some pretentious Chanel boutique or illustrious accounting firm to pay it off?

Yes. It's not something I think about everyday, but the feeling is there.
But what will happen? Fucked if I know. These things just aren't a part of me.

Tell me, how does a girl who does nothing, eventually get everything that she desires?
How can she look within for support when all she ever does is tear herself down?
And why the fuck does she stress about all of this, while she sits still, unwilling to make a change?

Where am I in my life right now? It's like my thoughts are tangled into one giant, grungy knot. The good is intertwined with the bad and I can't even extract one clear thought.

I make mistakes. I don't learn from them. I make them again, put it down to bad luck. Put it down to being me. But I still don't learn. I will never learn.

You can dismiss what I've said. You can tell me that I have all this anger, anger that comes from nowhere, bottled up inside me. And I'll agree with you. I will easily tell you that I love playing the victim. That it comes naturally to me, that I will do it because I was born to. I want to be a greater victim than I really am. Because I am attention-seeking. And selfish. And conceited. And foolish. And irresponsible. I will admit all this. Are you happy now? Because I think you should get fucked. I am not in self-denial any longer, but nor will I attempt to do anything about my problems. So get fucked.

Tell me it's just my hormones messing with me tonight.

I don't know why, but I stayed up till 4am last night reading revenge plots that people have exacted on their exes and other ppl. Read this:


SHEETS OF ICE PISS!

Best revenger ever, aside from shooting the bastard.

Anyway, this is how it works.

Utensils:

4 Mates
Case of Beer
Thin cooking trays
A Cup
Coat hangers (3 or 4)
Plyers
Screw driver
Fridge/Freezer

Method:

Consume beers with friends. When needing to go for a piss, pee in cup. Poor contents from cup into thin cooking tray. Place trays into freezer. Wait until contents are frozen! Take trays out from freezer. Gently remove frozen piss from tray. Now using a screw driver, and a stabbing motion, try and make a hole close to the edge of the frozen piss. You don't want it to be a big hole, just enough for coat hanger wire to go through. Quickly move to 'victims' house.

Now, grab the coat hangers and straighten them out. Join 3 or 4 coat hangers together using plyers. Be sure to put a hook on the last coat hanger so it can be hooked on the hole of the frozen ice piss sheet.

Gently feed the flat frozen ice piss under the 'victims' door (there should be a small gap between door and ground). Using the coat hangers push that sheet of ice piss to desired length. Wiggle and jiggle that coat hanger (like you've been snagged in fishing) so it unhooks from the frozen piss. Do this until all the ice sheets of piss you froze, are in the victims house.

Leave the premises.

If you do it right, this fucker will be cleaning the stenchy piss stains off his carpet, and not having any fuckn clue where it came from (unless a pet is present in the house).

FAQ:

Q1. I don't have a friends, or any other of the utensils?
A1. This task will be useless, grab a gun and shoot the fucker.

Q2. When i stab the frozen ice piss sheets, chunks just break off?
A2. You will have to use something smaller and sharper and 'chip' away at it.

Q3. My sheets of frozen ice piss unfroze before i got to victims house?
A3. You should do it at a 'friends' place next time who lives closer to victim.

Q4. My sheets of frozen ice piss won't fit under the door?
A4. You need to use thinner cooking trays. duh!

Q5. Have you tried this before and did it work?
A5. Sure did! the dick at the uni deserved it.

Enjoy! and good luck!


......Oh. My. Lord. When I read that I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING. Sheets of ice piss? That's sooooo awesome! Some other revenge stories included:

1. Feeding the ex 'beef stew' made from dog food
2. Toothbrush dipped in toilet
3. Pouring water over their carpet, then scattering alfalfa sprout seeds everywhere
4. Prawn shells in the curtain rods
5. Keying their cars
6. Scooping out their margarine and taking a dump in the container, then putting it back in the fridge
7. Giving away all their clothes to charity

But the best one by far is frozen sheets of ice piss!! Hahahaha

......

This is what happens when I get forced to blog.....

I'm hungry. I want a quarter pounder. I'm thinking about a new song I wrote and how I can make it sound better. And I'm avoiding uniwork. That's literally ALL there is to me right now. I have NO OTHER THOUGHTS AT ALL. See Waz! Making entries when you feel uninspired is shit! BUT I wanted to write something so that you have something to read in the morning, no matter how stupid. Because I love you. If I had a quarter pounder, I would even share it with you. Hahahaha.

Ok so I will make two points:

1. I LOVE the quarter pounders with seasoned avocado (in case you haven't guessed). And I LOVE the radio ad about it! I can't find a picture of the burger with avocado, but look at this:

Mmmm. Heaven.

And Point no. 2:

How ugly are these shoes?
Crocs + Uggs!!

"It looks like dried vomit chunks on a log of pink diahorrea" hahahaha!

Ok I have one more thing. It's a joke!

After opening the first restaurant on the moon, Bob was disappointed to receive only 2 stars in the newspaper's restaurant review section.

"Great food, no atmosphere."

HAHAHAHAHA!

OK that's my shit blog post for tonight!

Just read one of the most fascinating articles ever.

Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization

http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html

"We are a lost generation, desperately clinging to anything that feels real, but too afraid to become it ourselves. We are a defeated generation, resigned to the hypocrisy of those before us, who once sang songs of rebellion and now sell them back to us. We are the last generation, a culmination of all previous things, destroyed by the vapidity that surrounds us. The hipster represents the end of Western civilization – a culture so detached and disconnected that it has stopped giving birth to anything new."

For reasons unbeknownst to me I am fascinated by Hipsterdom. The trend itself seemed to suddenly emerge out of nowhere; adbusters describes it as 'the first “counterculture” to be born under the advertising industry’s microscope...less a subculture, the hipster is a consumer group – using their capital to purchase empty authenticity and rebellion.'

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, refer to this diagram as a loose sketch of your average hipster:

Alternatively, you can try visiting clubs like Click Click....or Melbourne University. My uni is overflowing with these specimen; refer below to my loving, hand-drawn (on MS Paint) version of a Melb Uni hipster/scene kid:

I quite like this, and I find it funny because the captions are actually true and if you ever come down to Melb Uni you will find approxiamately 10 billion clones of this guy. All of whom will talk in a small, muttering voice, own a camera, take shots of themselves wherever necessary, probably ride a junky old bicycle of some sort, go to some unknown band's gig on the weekend and dance like a chicken, and possibly take speed, wear grandpa jumpers when it's cold and give cynical sneers at students from every other faculty.

Right now I want nothing more than a large sweet chilli and chicken pizza topped with melted mozzarella cheese, and an ice cold Stella.....

When this stupid bronchitis blows over, I am gonna be A NEW WOMAN. I will go to the beach and frolic in the icy waves and roll around the sand in a bikini and drink ALOT OF STELLA! and I will stuff my face with products containing chilli, cream and cheese, and eat super spicy hotpot all day and all night, and go to karaoke and sing my lungs out, and do lots of naughty things that my bronchitis wouldn't let me do before!! Having said all that I'll probably relapse :)

I think facebook is an addiction. It's a legitimate disease that you can suffer from. I think I have it. Which is the worst because nothing really even happens on my facebook.

So I sit and wait for something to happen...or I just lurk the facebooks of people I don't even like or (can't bring myself to look at). Either way, it feels soooooo good.

Hahaha so moving on, I had the best day......of being a BOGAN!!

Me and Alison sat in the library, did 10 mins of study, then moved to a cafe, did about 30 seconds of study, then went to Dan Murphy's, got knocked back because I'd left my ID at home, went to Coles, bought Pulse, went to the park behind her house, sunbaked for a long time but NOT LONG ENOUGH....I tutored, went to uni, got Simon then went to St Kilda beach, sat there with more Pulse.....admittedly, true bogans would have worn thongs (or no shoes at all), skipped uni and bought VB instead.....I am aware of this, and will probably do this next week....same day, same time!! Same haunts :)

I'm going to go shoeless, force myself to like VB and sit on the grass (or the bonnet of her car) eating a 4n20, or a poineapple donut, in trackies and a singlet!! I might even go to uni and do it there....to spite all the metro asians!! (no offence)

And ONE LAST THING.......the Aussie dollar grew STRONGER today!! And that means more spending money in CHINA!!! Thanks to our wonderful Government for reviving the Australian economy, I love you Government!

And one LAST LAST thing.....I love you Waz

x

For me, trying to understand the economy is impossible. I hear something about it, it flies out of my brain. I read something about it, it flies out of my brain. I talk to someone about it, I go blank mid-sentence. Sometimes I think that I was actually born to just become a trophy housewife who doesn't really talk or think.

I wish I was smarter, I don't understand myself sometimes...

Arrgh I have no idea what's happening tonight!! ARGHHHHHHH @ indecisiveness!!

I wish the night was endless so I didn't have to think about tommorow's consequences. But then again, I wish people didn't hype up Friday nights and make it out to be like the one time you can have fun in your otherwise boring existence. EVERYONES out tonight and I feel like I should join them all!! But at the same time, I can't be bothered racking up the effort to get ready.

On another note, I'm hating skinny girls!! You can eat entire loaves of garlic bread and family sized pizzas and the food just dissapears while its in your stomach!! Damn all of you and your skinny waists!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM FRUSTRATED!!!!!!

The logic behind these Bible exerpts is so easy to see, but so hard to digest, and even harder to obey.

"I empathize with your strident sense of futility. Allow me to explain the true nature of the problem. If you don't have a relationship with your Creator, then life is "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." [Ecclesiastes 1:2]

"I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, are chasing after the wind." [Ecclesiastes 1:14] Wisdom and folly are Meaningless. Pleasures Are Meaningless. Toil Is Meaningless. Advancement Is Meaningless. Riches Are Meaningless.

"How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble! We blossom like a flower and then wither. Like a passing shadow, we quickly disappear." [Job 14:1-2]

"I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him." [Ecclesiastes 3:14]

God is using your Emotional Distress to capture your Undivided Attention. If God is trying to communicate with you, then I would advise you to pay attention. LISTEN, LEARN, and OBEY."

Still feeling a touch crap today. Wish I could have slept in till about 3 or 4pm...!
I have a lot on my mind but maybe I'll write it all down on paper instead of posting here, it's all a bit nonsensical anyway. I have to be optimistic!!!!! The glass is HALF FULL! I am going to go to work at Sofias for the first time in 3 months and I will eat sweet chilli bread with cheese dipped in mushroom sauce and maybe some vegetarian risotto with chicken and I'll feel better. I wish everything was as simple as food! Food is so delicious, and is always there just waiting for you, and all you have to do is pick it up and take a bite. It never rejects you. It has no feelings, all it wants to do is get eaten. It's the best form of free therapy in the world.

Blank screen
Blank mind
I had a script all worked out.....but plans don't always follow through do they?
I need to sleep some of this insanity away.
My mouth is filled with sawdust and my head is filled with cotton
I'm an idiot and my life is a speck of sand

Can someone teach me about html? I can't code at all and trying to install a new template has just wasted 2 hours of my life because it looked so shocking that I had to go back to minima black. This has been a sad night.