my latest

0 comments Published Sunday, June 22, 2008 by stina in  

This world is so damn big now
I've got to get a grip now
Feel you slipping away now
But I just can't turn away

Being tugged in two directions
Can't face my own decisions
Living inside a prison
But all you did was turn away

Theres stars along the sky now
Theres stars inside your eyes now
And when I look inside
All the drama and the hope and the lies just fade to grey

Can't even smile without it being a mistake

i used to be grown up. then i grew down

0 comments Published Sunday, June 15, 2008 by stina in  

I used to have a xanga. I put up about 8 posts, then tried to change the template of it, entered some screwed up html and made it look retarded. So I left it...forever. Actually no, I visited it again the other day, and wow... at my second entry. '50 things about me', dated April 28, 2005. Half of the list isn't true anymore. Actually very amusing to read. All I do is ramble on about how much I love God and my (ex) youth group and how I've never kissed a guy. Oh my. So it's only been 3 years, but how? When did I begin to change? I don't feel the difference. It's weird to think that maybe, on just a couple of those days, I maybe went to bed a slightly different person then who I was at the start of the day. Haha. And in some ways, I feel like I'm stupider now then I was back then, which is completely unsettling. 3 years down the track, and I haven't grown at all, save for the odd lesson or two in heartbreak. And alcohol consumption. And how to hate Uni.

<3

0 comments Published Saturday, June 14, 2008 by stina in  

You put the biggest smile on my face.

yay

0 comments Published Thursday, June 12, 2008 by stina in  

im so drunk
man i think that's all i have to say
hahaha
happy happy happy sunshine fairies rainbows and unicorns =]

misguided

0 comments Published Wednesday, June 11, 2008 by stina in  

I wrote this awhile back, think almost a year ago. It's about someone who I haven't seen in 5 years. And even then it was for less than an hour. He's basically just a faded memory by now. But sometimes old memories resurface and they tear you up inside, you think you've been apathetic this whole time and maybe even a little proud of the fact that you don't care. But you haven't been like that at all.

i think of you
nothing comes to mind.

i think of music.
rain.
&shine.

i think of moments long forgotten

and falling from my eyes

killing what was promised
while time just flew on by

i think of you in
calm

it led to your
demise

just you and me and silence;

your little lullabye...

relapse

0 comments Published Sunday, June 8, 2008 by stina in  

Would things have been different if I had told him the truth? What would have happened if I actually admitted to all the reasons why, giving him that harsh reality check he so clearly needs? Would he have learnt to recover sooner? Instead of always just wondering what went wrong, blaming the wrong people and coming up with empty explanations? Would it eat at him not knowing and never knowing? Should I have been completely straightforward and said Hey, look at all your flaws. This is why. This is why I couldn't handle it anymore. But I didn't want to tell you because you probably would have gone and jumped off a bridge.

This whole thing is like one long unpleasant dream.

who is this about?

0 comments Published Saturday, June 7, 2008 by stina in  

hey guess what

YOU ARE SUCH A WANKER

GET OUT OF MY LIFE

&*#^&*$@*(@)

NOW

AND BTW

learn to shut up.

lol i find this completely funny

0 comments Published Tuesday, June 3, 2008 by stina in  






"3. Scene

Evidently on urbandictionary.com, being "scene" means you are a self-indulgent douche bag you uploads eleventy-billion pictures of yourself looking "scene". Congrat-u-fucking-lations. You can use a camera.

I'm starting to hate this website.

6.
Scene



How to be Scene:

First and foremost, your AIM/MSN screen name should be some rad song title and/or lyric. Remember, the more x's you have in it, the more scene you are.

Next, go buy yourself some girl's jeans. Face it, the tighter your jeans are, the more scene you will be, and the more the hardcore kids will hate you for it. Try on a pair of jeans and find that you're a perfect woman's 2? Buy a woman's 0 and suck it in.

After you buy your jeans, go straight to Hot Topic and buy every single band shirt they have. Even if you've never listened to the band, or worse, never head of them either. If people ask you about them, just say you like the "old stuff" and no one will ever know that you actually hate Norma Jean. Never buy anything larger than a Youth Medium. Ever.

Dont forget to pick up a white leather belt on your way out!

So, now you're dressed pretty scene, but how's your hair? Is it dyed black? Maybe with some bleach-blonde streaks? Do your bangs cover one of your eyes? If you answered no to any of these, shut up, grab a pair of scissors, and chop away. Never go and get your hair done, ALWAYS do it yourself.

Good job. Now your hair is the sex. But, your look won't get you anywhere if you dont know how to dance. And by dance, I mean beat the crap out of people. First of all, you need to make sure you claim your space in the pit. As the band starts, push everyone back and scream something obscene. Then you need to start to pace the pit just so everyone knows that you can move in your pants. Pacing the pit involves doing a half walk-half skip across the room, while looking downwards and shaking your head. But dont mess up your hair.

Then, when the time is right trust me, you'll know when throw your arm back and hopefully, you'll hit someone in the face.

5 scene points if his nose bleeds.

Begin two-stepping. If you dont know how to two-step, you might as well leave and go practice in your living room in front of a mirror until you get it. Add some sweet floor-punches and a couple spin-kicks into the crowd, and you're set. Now for the pile up! As everyone runs up to the stage, make sure you go last so you can be that cool kid on top of the pile. If you dont know the words to the song, fake it, and hope that its just screaming.

Your job is done.

Stand in the middle of the floor, with your arms crossed and survey the scene.

Good job scene. Good job.

So you're offically labeled bunshole now that you've given a couple of people black eyes. That's ok, it's the point.

Now that you're back home, go straight for your computer and immediately check your myspace. Get really pissed off when you dont have any friend requests, and get even more pissed off when no one has left you a comment in the 6 hours you werent home. Figure its because you havent updated your pictures in a couple of weeks and go take some more. Take about 80, but use the 2 most flattering ones. Remember, the more skin you show, or if you're sitting on the toilet, the more comments you will get.

Go outside and have a cig break and redraw the black X's on your hands. Afterall, you ARE straightedge. Everyone KNOWS cigs dont count!

Look up at the stars, sigh, and thank god that you're not emo.

Even though you really are.

xxSUICIDALFGTXX: OMGZ! stfu, i'm scene!"

this is what i know

1 comments Published Monday, June 2, 2008 by stina in  

This is basically what I know about relationships:

1. They always fuck up.
2. Girls love attention.
3. If a girl is pursued by a guy that she is not interested in, she will pretend not to care but secretly love the attention anyway.
4. If the guy loses interest in the girl, the girl will start to think she misses him when in truth she only misses the attention.
5. If a guy shows a girl TOO much attention, the girl will be turned off. Too much attention = stalking, desperation
6. Girls never willingly show guys attention, unless they believe the guy has earned it.
7. So basically, the guy has to do something first to attract the girl to give him attention.
8. Girls are the biggest attention-whores in the world.
9. If you do not give a shit about a certain girl, she will love you.
10. Girls and guys play way too many games with each other.
11. If a girl wants to break up with a guy, she will act like a bitch until the GUY is forced to break things off.
12. The girl will probably act like a bitch anyway.
13. If a guy wants to break up with a girl, he will act like a dickhead until the GIRL is forced to break things off (while crying.)
14. When two people manage to be completely straightforward with each other, and have no fights, and have this ultimate pure love and respect for each other, the rest of the world will hate them.
15. If such relationships exist, they will fuck up.

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