miss stina

CONGRATS TO PETER* FOR BEING AWESOME AT LIFE!!

NOW ITS TIME TO BREAK THE BED...

OK I'll shut up now....hahaha. But seriously, wow, I'm SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU! DOUBLE DATE BOWLING TIME!!

I've added another 10-15 words onto my essay and know I'm just gonna keep procrastinating, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight everyone. And if you're Waz lurking my page, good morning sunshine! I miss you already. xoxoxo

*name is not Peter

At what point was the dumb high schooler supposed to morph into an educated and critically analytic young lady? I'm being confronted with the reality that, hey, everyone in commerce AND media is a genius and I'm the village idiot whose knowledge of media/anything to do with media/commerce/anything to do with commerce could probably fit through the head of a needle? Why did I ever think I was capable of doing this course? I can't even schedule my week without double booking, I can't even calculate how to split a bill at a resturant, I can't even cook without burning something, I can't even save a grand, I can't even drive properly, I can't even eat without spilling food onto my clothes, WHY DID I THINK I COULD DO THIS STUPID COURSE REQUIRING A 98.00 TER?!!? How did I even get into the damn course when where I truly belong is at the front of a bus where the 'special' people hang, with my backpack and kmart trousers, trying to work out where to get off so I can go back to the mental instution/special school that I escaped from?! I know all I ever do is complain but maybe if I was GOOD AT LIFE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO!!

I'm being swamped this week. Completely, utterly engulfed by committments. I've got a total of three jobs now, excluding the tutoring, and just thinking about how much I have to work this week makes my brain hurt. If I'm not at one job, I'm at the other, and the rest of my time off will be spent at uni and the gym. As much as I want to just lie around with Waz and sit in bed and watch Spongebob and melt into a happy sloth puddle, I have to make enough to get myself out of debt!! Independent woman!! Yeah! (Who am I kidding)

But the phone interviewing job was almost kinda tolerable. Well, it was actually alot better than I was expecting. One guy ran off during the break because he couldn't cop it, and that was before we'd ever started. He should've stayed though, it paid off in the end. There was no abuse over the phone. The hours are fine. The managers weren't tight or humorless or mean. The rate is SOOO GOOD. So I'll be staying for as long as they need me!

I don't know much
But I know I love you
And that may be all I need to know

=]

Hey guess who just had the best night ever?

Thanks Warren. I can't believe I was lucky enough to have met you.
If I could find the words I would, but I'm speechless remember? Besides, I don't really need words. I don't need to show you how I feel through a blog. I can make you happy in other ways.

So when is Sky High Pt. II?

Audio lectures are sooooooooooooooooooooo boring x 100000000000 and they're pretty nonsensical too. The lecturer is trying really hard, I can tell, but my god he is so boring. Normally if I was sitting in the lecture I'd be looking out for hot guys or something, making lectures infinitely more interesting. I should really go to class more!

And my body is still sore from gym. Two days ago.

I've been coughing my lungs out for about 2 weeks now, and I've almost finished the amoxycillin. But still not feeling much better. This is quite bad but has also obviously been my own fault. I started off taking them at regular times (e.g. 10am, 2pm, 8pm) and today its been 3pm, 9pm and 3am. Last night I seriously sunk into a black hole, I was that asleep, and didn't manage to wake up till 2 today. And so, the repercussions of drinking : the next day, there is a chance you will be forced to wake up early, if not for a function then at least to convince your family nothing is wrong, and you will feel like complete and utter shit and sit there all day being a vegetable and all your 'moving' will only consist of blinking and breathing because that's all autonomous. Then, at night, you will pass out and by the time you wake up everything you were supposed to have shown up for the next day is missed.

I HAVE to get well for Torquay! Otherwise I'm going to try an alternative way of becoming healthy again: sitting in a spa all weekend and boiling my sickness away! And for some strange reason I'm also trying to convince myself that I can get a tan there; that's right, when its wintertime and Melbournians are all FREEZING OVER and the sun comes out for approx. an hour a day, with patches of rain in between. Good to see my sense of logic is working.

Okay, time to get off the net and sleep my cold away. Tommorow I'm going to the gym for the first time.....EVER! My body is completely foreign to gym equipment (and most forms of exercise) so I'm sure I'll handle it really, really well. Just in case I don't, I'm going to get alot of Maccas straight after.

I had an incredibly vivid dream about you this morning. To the point where I actually thought it happened. And yeah, I wish it did. The way you were, the way you looked at me, the way you talked, the way your voice sounded, everything that happened, it was so lifelike...

I miss you already!! What's wrong with me!

I like Emerson. He was an American essayist, philosopher, poet, and leader of the Transcendentalist movement in the early 19th century. Wikipedia told me so.

From "Give All to Love"

Though thou loved her as thyself,
As a self of purer clay,
Tho' her parting dims the day,
Stealing grace from all alive,
Heartily know,
When half-gods go,
The gods arrive.

oh

and

I LOST MY WALLET TODAY.

....is there anything I manage NOT TO LOSE!?

Thanks to you, and you, and you. I thought you'd changed my life at one point, and you have. But I don't care about that anymore. It's liberating to me. This new found sense of apathy. Life is good, you are not. Things can still be vibrant and funny and colorful without you in the picture. So thanks but no thanks, kid. I'm happy.