miss stina

Ok so I know I'm over-blogging a bit, but something tonight just struck me as puzzling; I've had the shittest week ever, I have no money, no (real) phone, lost alot of dignity, sobriety and self-esteem (haha) and have failed two of my exams. I got yelled at tonight at work even though I had been working hard (and making zero mistakes for once), but I finished work kind of happy. I was trying to distance myself from all those depressing thoughts and it was actually working. In all respects, I had learned to "turn my frown upside down". And for a second there, I thought I had somehow been transformed into an optimist. And then later on it all fell apart because of that one person. And then I realised that I had been happy earlier on because everything I screwed up this week didn't matter nearly so much to me as that person did. And now it's gone and I don't know where to go from here.